Weekly Weigh-In - Fear Factor

Hey y'all!  I have been completely overwhelmed by the amount of support I received after last week's post.  I would like to thank all of you for your continued encouragement and support.

I realize this is a way of life instead of just another diet, and I may backslide or suffer from momentary doubts, but I refuse to give up on the fight of my life!!  I will win the war!!!

When I look around my surroundings I see all sorts of people suffering from various types of addiction.  For me, it's food, for others it may be drugs or alcohol.  I don't believe I was born with a food addiction, but became an addict due to genetics and lots of bad habits which became deeply ingrained over the years.

A couple of quotations regarding habits I like to keep in mind are:

"The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken."
~ Samuel Johnson ~

"Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity." ~ St. Augustine

On my journey I have learned quite a bit about changing habits. I've learned not only what to do, but also through my failures what NOT to do.  I think failure is just about as important as success when learning to change one's habits. I'll admit it, changing habits, especially those deeply ingrained habits, is extremely difficult.  Let's face it, we all experience failure and backslide from time to time.  However, one of the most important lessons I've learned through all of this is to NEVER give up. Whether you experience a slight backslide, or plunge headfirst off a cliff right back into your old habits, you can recover from the free fall which has become your life.  You must get re-focused, figure out what went wrong and why, and figure out a plan of action so you can successfully overcome these obstacles next time. 

One of the first things I did when I began my journey was make my mind up and firmly resolve to lose weight. I found a determination I didn't even know I had deep down inside of me.  I knew I was headed on the road to the morgue if I didn't take action soon.  That is not an exaggeration.  My doctor was repeatedly telling me I was going to die, sooner rather than later.  However, I waited until I started having breathing problems, gasping for breath from walking before I found that determination. I think it had been buried for years beneath piles of fear. 

Fear can be a paralyzing factor in our lives.  If we give fear the power it so desperately craves, it can completely take over our lives.  For years, I have been afraid.  Of what, you ask?  Well, to be honest, I have been afraid of just about every thing imaginable.  Some of my fears include(d): fear of failure, fear of success, fear of change, fear of an unhappy marriage, and a fear of not finding a marriage mate.

Total and complete craziness I know.  I was afraid of being in an unhappy marriage, so I ate myself to 220 pounds by the time I was a senior in high school.  On the other hand, I was afraid of being alone and not finding someone to love, but refused to take the necessary steps to lose weight.  I was afraid of success and afraid of failure.  I was afraid I wasn't good enough, deserving enough, smart enough, pretty enough.....the list goes on and on. Makes no sense I know. Oh, I'm sure there's some psychologist out there just waiting to analyze me and I could fill up an entire book on the subject, but I will spare you for now.

I still feel those same old feelings of fear creeping back up on occasion.  However, I've learned to recognize the symptoms and most of the triggers for me.  I have been able to squash these feelings instead of letting them control my life. I've learned a few things along this journey which helps me put those old feelings of fear, and doubt back into their place.

If you are struggling to stay on track here's a few things that have helped me:

1) Get re-focused. You don't want to lose the determination, motivation and drive you had at first. Getting back to the basics will help you regain focus!  Also, reading blogs or writings from others who know what it's like to be in your shoes.  There's a huge (no pun intended) network of people out there experiencing the same struggles as you.  Look for help where ever you can find it and readily accept it!

2) Put your goals in writing. Include a start date, a target end date and what you want to accomplish during that time.  I have always loved setting mini-goals for myself.  I had such a large amount of weight to lose, it was overwhelming to think about it.  The mini-goals I have set are always 10% of my weight at the time the goal is set.  For instance, I began my journey at 347 pounds.  My first mini-goal was to lose 35 pounds, with a 90 day target date. When I reached my first mini-goal, I weighed 312 pounds and immediately set another 10% mini-goal of 31 pounds, and so on.  Thinking in small increments doesn't lesson the amount of weight you have to lose, but will make it seem more readily achievable.

3) Holding yourself accountable is an important factor in being successful.  The first thing I did was start this blog.  I have to confess, I had no clue what was involved.  However, I talked to a few friends who provided me with some guidance, and took the leap into blogland.  Telling the world you are going to do something gives you a little extra determination.  Tell it ALL....the good, bad and ugly of your journey.

4) Figuring out your triggers and putting a plan of action into place to help you deal with them. If you don't know what triggers your binging episodes, write down EVERYTHING....what you ate, how you felt, issues at work, home, etc. This will help you to overcome the temporary insanity which could cause the old habits to creep back up and derail your progress.
 

5) Be consistent.  This is an all important factor, and I do still struggle with this one from time to time.  Not too often with what I eat or why I eat, but with my writing.  After awhile I feel like I'm in a rut, spinning my wheels, but going nowhere.  However, I do believe being consistent is key to permanent success!

I hope some of this will help you as it has helped me on my journey of a lifetime!!

Now for this week's weigh-in results:

6/13/11  - 178.25  (2.75)

I lost another 2.75 pounds this week, bringing my total weight loss to 168.75 pounds!!  WooHoo!! Only 43.25 pounds until I reach my original final goal!!!  Completely UNBELIEVABLE to me!!!

When I reach my original final goal, my journey will not be over!  It will actually only be beginning.  The real battle will begin when I reach maintenance.  This is my life, and I'm happy to be alive to share my journey with you!!!  I hope you continue to find inspiration through my words!!

Until tomorrow...have a wonderful today!!