These Little Hills Are No Rockies

Good morning! Well, I didn't get my picture with my haircut posted, yet. As a matter of fact, J had to work late last night, so I didn't even have my picture taken. He has to work late again tonight, but I will still try to get one posted soon.


Last night we were discussing our misadventures at the movies and we were laughing about me being afraid to walk up and back down the steep, sloping hills. He wanted to know when I developed this fear of falling. Now of course, he's not afraid of anything. When we lived in Oklahoma we used to love to go hiking in the Wichita Mountain Wildlife Refuge.

Wichita Mountain Wildlife Refuge

Another shot of the Wichita Mountain Wildlife Refuge from Mt. Scott

We would go hiking and I would be watching my footing every step of the way, but not J. He would always wear boots and he would move like an elk among the rocks.

Once while we were hiking with my parents in the Wichita Mountains my father got off the trail and disappeared from sight. I had been telling stories during the whole hike about visitors who had wandered off the trail and had ended up getting lost. A doctor from Dallas had even died while rock climbing. However, I guess my scare tactics didn't work. I remember my father saying sarcastically, "I've hiked in Rocky Mountain National Park. These are just little hills...they're no Rockies." However, after a smile and wave from up ahead he wandered off the trail and got lost in the "little hills."

J began almost leaping from rock to rock to get up high enough to try to see if he could see him down in the valley below. I remember my mom being really concerned about him falling, but he said not to worry. He never fell!

When my father got lost in the Refuge, the park rangers began search and rescue efforts. It was in the middle of the night while the park rangers were searching for my father, and J decided he wanted to go with them to aid in the search. After they left, another ranger who had been questioning my mom about my father's "disappearance" asked what kind of shape he was in. She, assuming he was talking about my father, said, "Okay, I guess....for a 56 year old man who is a chain smoker and a heavy drinker." The ranger laughed and replied, "Ma'am, I was talking about your son-in-law." She said, "Oh, he's in GREAT shape." (My father ended up spending the night in the Refuge. Ft. Sill Army Base even sent a Chinook helicopter to aid in the search and rescue, but as soon as they flew overhead a cloud of fog rolled in (possibly a sign???) and they called off the search until the following morning. Although it was February the temperature only got to 44° that night and he was wearing a wind breaker. He was found the next morning unharmed. He was especially upset by the fact he ran out of cigarettes about 1:00 that morning.)

Even though this was a traumatic experience for the whole family, this has nothing to do with my fear of falling. No, my fear of falling goes back way before J and I met. It goes all the way back to the age of about 10 years old.

My family used to have an annual family reunion at Cameron Park in Waco. There were small hills by the redwood pavilion where we held the reunion. The younger ones would climb these hills and hang out and hike until we were called for lunch. Anyway, it was at one of our reunions my fear of falling began. I was walking along the trail at the top of the hills when suddenly I slipped and fell. Now, I had fallen before, but not like this. I took a huge tumble down the side of the hill. Thank goodness I didn't hit any of the many trees on that hill. I ended up getting caught in a bramble bush. My brother, along with my cousin Steve, had to literally cut me out of the bush. I've been afraid of falling ever since.

This might not be the only reason I'm afraid of falling. I used to share a bed with two sisters and I remember falling out of the bed on more than one occasion. When we were visiting some relatives in New Mexico once, and spent the night, I not only fell out of the bed, but rolled over behind the door. My mom said she panicked the next morning when she couldn't find me. :) I think I probably hid behind the door on purpose. I used to love to hide and jump out to scare people.....until I got in HUGE trouble for almost giving my older sister a heart attack!

So, the conclusion J and I reached last night was our midnight hike around the mall was about 30-40 minutes. I'm sure it would have been much shorter if I wasn't being so careful on the steep, wet, grassy hills!

On another topic completely.....A called from Oklahoma last night. That boy loves to talk almost as much as I do. We talked for at least 30 minutes or more. I didn't tell him about our midnight hike, but I did share the good news about me reaching my 40 pound goal. He was very excited for me. After congratulating me and saying what a great job I was doing, he added the following: "Just think how much you would lose if you really committed yourself to serious exercising." I replied, "Thank you, Jillian Michaels." Then he said, "I'm being serious mama. Just think about how much weight you could be losing if you would do more exercise." (How old is he, again????)

Anyway, it's sad I have to get my diet and exercise advice from a nine year old. However, I do have to admit he's right, yet again.

So, I have made a promise to myself that I will try to increase my physical activity. I know exercising is essential to getting healthy, but I find it hard to stay committed. I have increased my activity, but I could be doing much more. I'm hoping to even make time for some walks while we're visiting our relatives in Oklahoma.

I'll keep you posted on how this exercise thing goes for me! :)

Have a wonderful day!

14th Week Weigh-In & Misadventures at the Movies

Good morning! Well, as you all know today was my 14th week weigh-in. After a zero loss last week I was wondering if I would show a loss this week. I was hoping to hit the 40 pound mark this week. Are you ready for the results? (Notice I'm not beating around the bush today!)

..................Drum Roll Please...................

Are you ready?

?

?

?

Are you sure?

?

?

?

........Okay, here goes........

I lost 2.25 pounds this week for an overall total loss of FORTY (40) pounds! Yay me! I reached my goal to lose 40 pounds by Thanksgiving weekend. (This was not an official goal....just one I hoped to reach!) As of this morning, I now weigh 307 pounds! WooHoo! Just 8 more pounds to lose to get under 300! (I hope to make this by the end of the year!) To reach my second mini-goal of losing 31 more pounds I need to lose another 26 pounds. This will leave me weighing 281! My goal is lose this additional 26 pounds by April 15th! I shouldn't have a problem if I keep my current pace!

Well, on Friday night J drove A to Oklahoma to spend the week with his grandparents. They called me around 11:00 pm and said they were just outside of the town where J's parents live. Instead of spending the night, J drove back home the same night. He got home around 3:00 am Saturday morning. We got up around 9:00 am that morning and had to run some errands. We went to the bank and I had a hair appointment that afternoon.

I sometimes have to wonder why my life on occasion seems to parallel Lucille Ball's life in "I Love Lucy." However, I don't have Ethel as a sidekick.....I have J instead.

First of all, I went and got my hair cut and colored. I kept a very similar style, but she darkened the blond just a tad. (Someone asked if I would post pictures and I will try to tonight!) Then when I got home I actually painted my nails.....both fingernails and toenails! Now, I haven't painted my nails in ages! For one thing, I haven't been able to paint my toenails due to my weight. I haven't really been able to reach my feet, and I couldn't bend my leg up to reach my toenails. Well, this weekend it was not a problem to reach my toenails! I was so excited! Things most people take for granted can be a big deal to someone weighing over 300 pounds! I was quite proud of myself!

Since A was out of town and we NEVER get to go to the movies to watch grown-up movies I suggested we go see "The Blind Side." I figured J would like it, too, since it partially revolved around football. So, I called and found out the show times."

We decided on the 7:30 showing. Although there are lots of movie theaters around here, for some reason or another we always go to the theater inside the mall. We get to the mall around 7:00 pm, park by Macy's, go in to buy our tickets only to find out the movie is sold out. Not a problem, we buy tickets for the 9:25 pm show instead. Then for some reason unknown to myself, J or mankind in general, we decide to go home to wait, instead of walking around the mall.

We sat at home until 9:00, then drove back to the theater. We again park by Macy's and go in, walking thru the mall this time with tickets in hand. J decides he needs a drink and popcorn. I order a Diet Coke. We walk into the theater and what do you think happened????

It was PACKED! The only place to sit....if we wanted to stay together, was on the 1st or 2nd row! There are two empty seats on the end on the 2nd row. I look and in the 3rd chair there is a man weighing in excess (I assume) of 400 pounds. I ask J if he would mind sitting there and of course he said he would. I cannot imagine how he felt squished between 700 pounds of flesh! However, I knew if I sat there I would be rubbing up against that man all night....or at least during the movie. In a few minutes, the man's wife decided she could not handle being that close to the screen so she gets up and moves off by herself. The man did move over at that time, much to J's relief I'm sure.

I don't think I've ever mentioned this before, but J and I both get motion sickness. In my entire life I've only sat that close to the screen once before and I got sick. Yes, you guessed it....we BOTH got sick. I was sick before the movie began and he began to get sick during the football scenes. It got so bad I had to close my eyes at times until the scene slowed down. Anyway, we made it through to the end without hurling.

And, I was right, we both LOVED it! In spite of feeling ill during the whole movie and having to tilt my head to the side and all the way back, we had a great time! It is definitely the best movie I have seen in ages.

The movie ended around midnight. We walk out of the movie theater and the mall is closed. (DUH....of course it's closed......it is midnight!) Being from a MUCH smaller town and spending 13 years in another even smaller town, J and I were both used to the mall entrance being left opened until the last movie was shown. However, I guess in the big city that's not a smart idea. We walked out of the only available exit and found ourselves on the opposite side of the mall. Mall security is driving around the parking lot, but do not seem to notice the 6 foot tall man with the short 300 pound woman walking around.

We start the hike to the car. I try to steer J in the direction that I am convinced is the shortest route, but thank goodness, he didn't listen to me. (I was TOTALLY sure he was wrong, but after checking a map of the mall.....he WAS correct....as usual!) I'm still really nauseous, plus of course I don't have a jacket or sweater on. (I usually say I don't need a stinking jacket, but again I was wrong. It was very chilly!)

Anyway, this mall sits on a hill. There is an upper and lower level. We are parked on the lower level and the exit we came out of on the opposite side of the mall is on the lower level, too. The problem is either you have to walk about 10 miles to get to the car, or you have to take the "short cut." We opted for the "short cut."

The "short cut" involved walking up about a 20 foot grassy hill, (or as I referred to it as the grassy knoll) across a huge parking lot, around the mall, back down another 20 foot grassy hill, across another huge parking lot, until we reached the car. Mind you.....it was MIDNIGHT. Plus, it had rained most of the night before and early morning, so the ground was nice and soggy. I could envision myself taking a tumble down the embankment and landing on my butt in the middle of the fire lane. There were a couple of times I was holding onto the brick wall of the building or a nearby tree to keep my balance and not slip.

I was wondering where their security men were and if they were watching us from some hidden cameras having a big laugh. J said he kept expecting a DeLorean to race across the lot being chased by a van full of terrorists. I was thinking more along the lines of us getting robbed and I wondered if anyone would be able to identify our bodies. (I don't know who would have robbed us....possibly a squirrel we bothered during our hike? I'm not sure anyone else even saw us!) Anyway, after about 40 minutes we finally reach the car. That could be an exaggeration....but it seemed like an eternity!

The rest of the night I was freezing! I also kept getting that feeling of motion sickness, which I cannot take! Anyway, in spite of our misadventures, we both had a good time. (We obviously don't get out a lot!)

I hope you all had a great weekend, too! :)

Have a wonderful day!

The Ugly Step-Sister

Good morning! TGIF!! Anyone who regularly reads my blog knows I am definitely a Friday kind of girl. It seems I live for this day every week.....except when I'm on vacation! ;) Well, I'm happy to say I made it thru another week! WooHoo!

Tonight when I get off of work I have lots of things to do. J is driving A to Oklahoma tonight, and I haven't packed him, yet. A will be staying with his grandparents for a whole week! He's VERY excited. His cousin who is exactly 16 days older than he is will be coming up on Thursday. He loves spending time with her. They don't always get along (what kids do?), but I think they really enjoy being together. I worked until 6:30 pm last night, rushed home and washed some clothes for me to pack for him. However, the last load wasn't completely dry when we went to bed. So, needless to say, I will be rushing home again tonight to finish the job.

When I was his age, our mother used to have us pack things for ourselves. She had four kids, worked full time plus she had to pack for my father. I don't think I ever saw him pack a suitcase in his whole life. Anyway, on more than one occasion we would arrive at our destination and be missing something essential....like shoes, or a toothbrush, or worse....underwear! That called for an emergency trip to the store. Back in those days there wasn't a Wal-Mart on every corner. There wasn't even a Walgreen's or CVS on every corner. We had to rough it! :) Yes, yes, we did have to walk 10 miles to school everyday in 8 feet of snow, too....uphill both ways.

So, I will be packing for A! I sure don't want to send him to Grandma's house without his underwear! Although to tell you the truth, in typical boy fashion, he probably wouldn't mind wearing the same pair of undies for the whole next week!

His job is only to pack any toys he may want to take with him. As he's gotten older that's not such a big deal, (He mainly cares about his Nintendo DS, charger, video games and his iPod and charger.) but a few years ago we had to send a suitcase just for his toys he wanted to take with him. That was always fun....especially for the trip back home. Invariably a much loved toy would be left behind. I think Grandpa has had to mail one or two after previous trips!

The other day I read a post from a fellow blogger at Fit to the Finish about buying new clothes as we're losing weight. The post can be found here. This post really made me stop and think. In the past, as I was losing weight on one of the thousands of diets I've been on in my life, I would not allow myself to buy anything new until it was absolutely necessary. By necessary I mean literally falling off of me. (Once when I lived in Waco, during one of our congregation meetings as I stood to sing the song, my slip dropped to the floor! I bent over as fast as I could, picked it up and stuffed it in my purse. I'm sure the people behind me had a great laugh! Also, a man I used to work with in Waco told me I needed to buy new pants. His exact words were, "Debbie, it looks like a car load of illegal immigrants just moved out of the back of your pants. Honey, it's time to go shopping!")

Do you know how FRUSTRATING it is for someone my size to go shopping for clothes? "Normal" people tend to take these things for granted. However, when you are wearing a size 30 and a size 4x in things, it's impossible to find these things in the department stores....even the high end ones. For a LONG, LONG time I've had to buy the majority of my clothes online. Even my bras and pantyhose. (Yes, I'm old fashioned....I still wear pantyhose! I figure no one wants to see my FAT, WHITE legs....I know I sure don't, so I cover them up!)

Even buying shoes is next to impossible when I weighed 347 pounds. There's never a decent chair that will support my weight. So, I have to bend over! Yes, bend over! I have actually given myself "a head rush" from cutting off my own oxygen while trying on shoes! I usually end up having to have my little sister or J go shoe shopping with me to help me. Or I have been known to drop the shoes on the floor so I can slide my foot into it. Then I have to get A or J or whomever may be with me pick them up to put them back in the box when I'm finished. My feet were always swollen so badly, I never really knew what size I would be able to squeeze my feet into. I've always felt like one of Cinderella's ugly step-sisters!

Even now as I'm losing weight, I struggle with the idea that because I'm fat I do not look good and no one expects me to look good. I have not had an appointment for a haircut and color since May. Every time I look at my roots in the mirror, I cringe. Even J has encouraged me to make an appointment with my hairdresser. (I know I MUST look bad if he notices it!) However, after reading Diane's post I decided I do DESERVE to look good as I'm losing weight. So, I made an appointment for this Saturday afternoon! WooHoo! I am really getting excited about the prospect of getting a much needed cute cut and color! (Thanks, Diane!)

Also, I've decided when the time comes to buy new things to wear I will not wait until my clothes are literally falling off of me! I'm not saying I'm going to shop at the high end retailers, I just want to be able to shop and find things that actually fit me straight off the rack. Oh glory days! I cannot wait for that time to come! However, in the meantime I do plan to treat myself to some new things as I drop all of this weight. Everyone deserves to look the best that they can....it really does make you feel good about yourself! And, you know what? I DESERVE to feel good about myself!

WE ALL DO!!

Have a wonderful afternoon...and a safe and happy weekend!

Debbie